Goddamned winds of change are drying up southern California. And hot damn is it ever so hot. Fires are a brewin’

It really is so hot. I’d go swimming if the fucking winds hadn’t blown
all sorts of leaves and dirt into it. I FUCKING HATE THIS WEATHER.

I went to Subway to buy some sandwiches, and a bunch of people
materialized out of thin air. I was a bit nervous and irritable. This
heat is making me feel bad.

I’m feeling tired. Feeling kinda miserable. I SHOULD MOVE TO THE BEACH.
Get a summer house. Go to the beach during the summer. Yes. Beach
house. I should get one. Just  plop a shack right there on the
beach. Keep a shotgun with me at all times to keep intuders out.

I’m kinda miserable. I haven’t been very productive. I haven’t been
writing, and I haven’t been drawing. Maybe I have been, but I’m too
damn hot to remember. ARGH!!! THE FUCKING HEAT IS STARTING TO BOTHER
ME. I’m feeling slightly homicidal. I’ve been making a conscious effort
to stay calm, and it’s been working. So tired. I should wrap myself in
a refrigerated cocoon and sleep through the summer. It wouldn’t be so
bad if it were more humid. Dry heat sucks. I feel like dying. Going to
die in the desert.

In the desert, you can remember your name
For there ain’t no one for to give you no name
– America
No! You always hear it wrong. That’s not right! Look up they lyrics yourself.

Was the band called America? That’s a nice song. I should just walk.
Just walk north. Go to the top of the mountain. Go to the top of the
mountain to see what’s on the other side. I’ll climb the mountain and
see more mountain. I’ll have to climb down to see what’s at the bottom
of that side of the mountain.

I’m missing something. I’m missing someone. Dealing with reality is…

If I were to drive non-stop, I could probably make it to the other side
of the country in a day and a half. I’ll say two just to be safe; I’ll
need to stop for gas and food. Who would I go with, though? I’d get
lost and go insane if I were to go by myself. Maybe I should get a bus
ticket. A train ticket. A plane ticket.

I wrote a little something a few days ago. I’ll type it here.

as I lay on my mattress, staring at the empty wall
basking in the light of my monitor, I feel small
thinking tired thoughts of true love and sex
I slipped into sleep wondering what would come next
Radiohead played in my headphones from Bose
songs melted together as I drifted and rose

That humidity I’m talking about is probably exactly what’s getting me down. I’ll never admit it, though. Never. Never ever!